Confession

Guys, I’ve a confession to make. I’m not the perfect picture of well-being and togetherness you see on my videos and blog posts. “No!!” you cry. Hmm, in hindsight, I should have made sure you were sitting down before delivering that shocking revelation.

I’m having a ‘stop the world, I want to get off’ kind of day. I stared at my bedroom ceiling from 2:30-4:30am this morning feeling awake, obviously, but exhausted (I’ve only been asleep for 3 hours), annoyed (at my dear husband snoring beside me), stressed out (at being awake and feeling stressed), and frankly just a bit hopeless (knowing that I still have to get through a whole day being all things to all people and not having the energy for it).

I’m on my second cup of coffee and it’s not even 11am. Through bitter experience I know that regardless of how much I want it any more than 2 cups will send me spinning off the planet and probably result in me getting cross with my kids for just being their perfect, funny, argumentative, hyperactive selves – especially as they’ll come home from school hangry having “forgotten” to eat all their lunch (I do wonder sometimes why I bother to provide them with a lunchbox).

What I will try very hard not to do is fill my afternoon cravings with biscuits or finish the day with a glass of wine, which I will undoubtedly feel that I deserve for having made it as far as 5pm still standing.

In experiencing this today I am truly grateful that I now have the tools and the knowledge to ensure that this isn’t my life every single day. It’s a hellish existence when it’s your lot day in day out. It was my daily reality for years and I would go so far as to say that it barely rates as ‘existence’ at all.

And, as I am a sliver linings kind of person, I’m taking this a day as a useful reminder of how far I’ve come and that it is completely possible to break the cycle and live with full, stable energy and a regular good mood.

What would having energy you could rely on and being able to consistently sleep through the night mean to you? Talk to me about the possibility here.